Sexicon

Sexicon

A

Agender is a gender identity in which the person feels genderless or gender-neutral or does not identify with any gender.

All gender toilets can be used by people of any gender identity. They do not adhere to a binary division between women and men. This ensures less discrimination and safer spaces for agender, non-binary, inter* or trans* individuals.

An ally is a person who does not belong to a disadvantaged or discriminated group themselves, but who supports that group, defends their rights and openly shows solidarity. 

Anilingus is a sexual practice in which the anus is stimulated with the lips and tongue.

Asexual people feel little or no sexual interest in other people. Some still enjoy solo sex or enjoy intimacy and partnerships, while others do not. It is a sexual orientation. 

B

BDSM is an abbreviation formed from the initial letters of the English terms Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism. It refers to sexual behaviours involving pleasure pain, dominance, bondage games and submission.

Bisexual is a sexual orientation in which a person is attracted to both their own gender and another gender. 

Bottom refers to the passive part of a sexual contact or sexual relationship, usually the person who prefers to be penetrated by another person or who lies ‘below’. The counterpart to this is top (see below), and people who take on both roles are referred to as vers (see below), while people who generally do not like penetrative (anal) sex are referred to as side.

A butt plug is a sex toy used to stimulate the anus.

C

Catcalling is sexual harassment in public spaces through suggestive comments, gestures or noises (whistling).

Cis (Latin: cis = this side) is the abbreviation for cisgender. This refers to people who identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. 

The clitoris is the central pleasure organ for sexual arousal and orgasm. Only the clitoral glans is visible from the outside – the pearl between the labia. The majority of the clitoris is a complex system inside the body: the shaft, two erectile tissues and the clitoral crura, which run along the sides of the labia. It is closely connected to the vulva, urethra, bladder, pelvic floor and vagina via nerves and muscles. 

Coming out means recognising your own sexual orientation or gender identity and sharing it with others.

Consent means mutual agreement.

Cunnilingus is the technical term for oral sex, i.e. the stimulation of the vulva and vagina.

The cycle (Greek: circle/circulation) begins on the first day of menstruation and ends on the day before the next period. It encompasses the maturation of an egg cell, ovulation, the build-up of the uterine lining and its rejection if fertilisation has not taken place, and the onset of menstruation. Sex drive fluctuates during the cycle. For some women, sex drive is usually highest around ovulation, i.e. during their fertile days.

D

Deep throating is a technique in which the penis is taken deep into the throat.

A dildo is a sex toy that resembles an erect penis in shape and size.

Dysphoria refers to the mental stress that arises when the gender perceived by others or one's own body image does not correspond to one's own gender identity. 

E

Eroticism is the sensual and sexual attraction between two or more people.

F

Fellatio is the term for oral sex in which the penis in particular, but also the scrotum, is stimulated with the mouth of the sexual partner.

Feminism refers in particular to the women's movement. Feminism advocates for equal rights for women in society, politics, family and the workplace in order to eliminate social and political discrimination against women. In academia, feminism refers to efforts aimed at recognising and overcoming discrimination against women that hinders scientific knowledge.

In fetishism, a specific object, material or body part takes on central importance for an individual's sexual pleasure.

Figging is a BDSM practice in which a piece of ginger is inserted into the bottom's (see above) anus or rectum in a similar way to a suppository.

Fingering refers to the sexual stimulation of the vulva and/or vagina with the fingers.

FLINTA+ stands for women, lesbians, intersex, non-binary, trans* and agender persons. FLINTA+ therefore stands for all people who are not cis-male.

G

The term ‘G-spot’ stands for the ‘Gräfenberg zone’ and refers less to a spot than to a sensitive, erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina. This zone is said to swell, become harder and possibly secrete fluid from the glands located there when aroused.

In men, this sensitive spot is the prostate. It is lined with an enormous number of nerve cells, which is why it is very sensitive.

Gangbang is a type of group sex in which several people have sex with several other people at the same time or one after the other.

Gay refers to a sexual orientation in which men are attracted to men. 

Gender identity or gender is how each person subjectively perceives themselves, regardless of their sexual characteristics.

The gender star is a linguistic device used to reflect gender diversity in the German language. It is used as a symbol to go beyond the binary gender system and include all gender identities.

Genderfluid means that a person's perception of their own gender is fluid and therefore constantly changing.

External and internal sexual organs that can be sexually stimulated and/or serve for reproduction, for example breasts, vulva and penis, testicles, vagina and ovaries.

The glans is the sensitive tip of the penis. Urine and semen are released from it.

Gooning is a slang term for persistent masturbation, usually in connection with porn consumption.

H

Heartcore (as opposed to hardcore) is a porn genre that is predominantly made by women and depicts sex in a more emotional, realistic way with more storyline. 

Heteronormativity describes a social principle that standardises gender and sexuality, a binary gender system that accepts only two genders. These are in a hierarchical relationship with each other, placing masculinity above femininity. At the same time, heteronormativity prescribes a correspondence between biological and psychosocial gender and a desire oriented towards the opposite sex (heterosexual).

Heterosexual refers to the sexual orientation in which people are attracted to persons of the opposite sex. 

Homosexual refers to the sexual orientation in which people are attracted to persons of the same sex.

The hymen or vaginal corona refers to the thin skin between the vulva and vagina. It is a myth that it tears during first penetrative sex and thus remains visible, revealing whether a person is still a virgin or not. It is not true that the supposed tearing must be accompanied by blood or at least drops of blood. In truth, the supposedly thin skin that is supposed to tear is actually skin folds. The vaginal corona resembles a soft, large hair tie, not a sealing cling film. The ring-shaped skin folds, which vary in shape, size and thickness, form a kind of hole in their normal medical form through which period blood and other secretions can flow. If a child is born with a closed hymen, an artificial opening must be created through surgery, otherwise painful menstrual blood retention can occur.

I

Intersex people have both female and male sexual characteristics.

Intimacy is the deep and close relationship between people that is characterised by trust, openness and mutual vulnerability.

K

The Kamasutra is a book about love, passion and eroticism with numerous sex positions, which was written in India almost 2000 years ago. It is one of the most famous works of erotic literature.

The term kink describes sexual preferences such as bondage techniques, power and role-playing games, and fetishism.

A kubotan is a short stick held in the fist. The use of the kubotan is learned for self-defence.

L

Lesbian refers to a sexual orientation in which women are attracted to women.

LGBTQIA+ refers to different sexual orientations and gender identities. The letters stand for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual, queer (or questioning), intersexual and asexual. The + sign stands for all other identities that are not explicitly mentioned.

Libido refers to sexual desire and lust.

Lubrication is a term used to describe the moistening of the vagina or penis through the production of secretions during sexual arousal.

M

Masturbation means sexually stimulating oneself. This can be done manually or with various aids, alone or with a partner. It can lead to orgasm but does not have to be the goal.

#metoo (English: ‘me too’) refers to a global movement against sexualised violence and abuse of power. Since 2017, millions of affected women have used the hashtag (#) on social media to share their experiences – triggered by the abuse scandal surrounding Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein and the call to action by actress Alyssa Milano. The movement was started by activist Tarana Burke and highlights the extent of structural power inequalities in patriarchal societies. 

Misgendering occurs when a person is addressed with a gender that does not correspond to their own gender identification.

Monogamous means that a person is in an exclusive relationship with a single other person and is the opposite of polygamous (see below).

N

A neophallus is an artificially created penis resulting from a surgical reconstructive procedure.

Neurodiversity describes the natural diversity of human brain functions and ways of thinking.

Non-binary is an umbrella term for gender identities that do not identify exclusively as female or male and see themselves outside the two-part, binary gender order.

Normativity is the idea of norms and values that guide behaviour and decisions in a society. These norms can be legal, moral or social in nature and act as a yardstick for right and wrong.

O

Oestrogen is the female sex hormone, which is mainly produced in the ovaries. All genders produce all sex hormones, with female hormones predominating in women and male hormones predominating in men. Oestrogens are responsible for the development of the female sex organs but also have an effect on many other areas of the body. In medicine and science, the term oestrogen is commonly used for oestrogen.

An orgasm is the climax of sexual activity with a partner or oneself.

P

Pansexual refers to a person's attraction to all genders or attraction to others regardless of gender.

Patriarchy means ‘father rule’. Patriarchy is a form of society dominated by men. The prevailing norms and values are therefore based on male patterns of thinking and behaviour, leading positions in politics and business are mainly held by men, men earn more than women, and even areas that are vital for survival, such as (medical) research and care, are primarily geared towards the male members of society. In general, sexism is also a major problem in patriarchal societies.

The PC muscle refers to the pubococcygeus muscle, which attaches to the pubic bone, runs to the coccyx and surrounds the genitals. It is one of the muscles that surround the female and male sexual organs in the pelvic floor area.

Pegging is a sexual practice in which one person penetrates the other with a strap-on dildo.

The pelvic floor is the floor of the pelvic cavity, a layer of muscle and connective tissue that plays an important role in the stability of the torso, the function of the internal organs and sexuality.

Penetration means to enter. In a medical context, this refers to the insertion of an object into a body orifice, for example, the penis, fingers or sex toys into the vagina or anus. 

The penis consists of the root of the penis (connected to the lower abdomen and pelvic bones), the visible part of the shaft and the glans (see above). The opening of the urethra, through which semen and urine are transported, is located at the tip of the glans. The lower part of the glans is called the corona. In uncircumcised men, this is where the foreskin begins, covering the glans.

Petting is a form of sexual stimulation that can be foreplay but does not necessarily lead to sexual intercourse.

Polyamorous people can fall in love with more than one person at the same time and have romantic and/or sexual relationships with more than one person. It is important that all relationship and/or sexual partners agree to this form of relationship.

Polygamous means having several marriages (polygamy) or partnerships at the same time and is the opposite of monogamous (see above).

Porn stands for pornography, the depiction of human sexuality.

PorYes (founded in 2009) is an initiative that aims to transform the erotic entertainment industry while providing a platform for sexual education and cultural diversity.

Pronouns are substitute words for nouns that are used to avoid repetition and simplify sentences. There are female (she/her/hers), male (he/him/his), gender-neutral pronouns (it/its/him) and neopronouns (xier/xiem/dier or dey/demm/deren). The use of pronouns depends on the gender identity of the person in question.

Q

Queer is a collective term for sexual orientations that are not heterosexual, gender identities that are non-binary or non-cisgender, and ways of living and loving that are not heteronormative.

R

Ist eine Verwachsungsnaht, wie beispielsweise am Hodensack

S

Sex refers to the practical exercise of sexuality. In common parlance, sex refers to eroticism and sexual acts between two or more sexual partners.

Sex dolls are life-size replicas of the human body (usually female, but also male) and occasionally of animal bodies, which are used as sex aids, mostly for masturbation.

A sex robot is an electronic sex doll which, unlike a pure sex machine, usually has a human appearance and is used for sexual acts or fantasies.

A sex toy is an object used to increase or satisfy sexual pleasure. There are many different types of sex toys, such as vibrators, dildos or stimulators, which can be used for different types of arousal and pleasure, either alone or with others.

Sex work is any form of sexual service provided in exchange for payment.

Sex-positive is an attitude that views sexuality as something fundamentally positive and natural, without shame (see above) or prejudice. It is about accepting and appreciating one's own sexuality and that of others, as well as promoting sexual freedom and self-determination.

Sexism means discrimination against people based on their gender. Women and people who do not fit into binary gender roles are often disadvantaged. Sexism can manifest itself in various forms, such as verbal insults, derogatory jokes, unequal treatment in the workplace, in society, or even violence.

Sexting is a combination of the words sex and texting. It refers to the exchange of self-created, revealing images or messages with sexual content via digital media such as smartphones or computers.

Sexual harassment is a form of sexualised violence and refers to any unwanted, sexually determined behaviour in which a person is harassed, insulted, intimidated, degraded or humiliated against their will, for example through looks, words, gestures or actions. 

Sexual self-determination means that every person has the right to decide freely and without coercion about their own sexuality.

Sexualised violence encompasses all acts in which sexuality is used to exercise power over others. It violates personal boundaries and human dignity.  The forms range from harassment and unwanted touching to serious crimes such as rape or sexual abuse. Perpetrators deliberately use sexuality to humiliate and control.

Sexuality includes gender, gender identity, gender roles, sexual orientation, desire, eroticism, intimacy and reproduction.

Shame is a social emotion that is closely linked to our relationships with other people. It arises when we feel that our behaviour or characteristics do not meet the expectations or norms that apply in our society or social environment. 

Shame occurs in very different situations: when norms and values are violated, when people are seen in a way they do not want to be seen, but also in relation to nudity and sexuality. When sexuality is subject to strict moral standards, these areas of shame overlap.

Side refers to a person who does not like penetrative (anal) sex. Sides may be interested in other sexual practices, such as oral sex, mutual digital stimulation, etc.

Slut shaming is a practice of attacking and insulting people, especially women and girls. The attackers accuse the victims of not conforming to society's expectations of behaviour and appearance in relation to sexuality and gender roles.

Squirting refers to female ejaculation. During or after orgasm, fluid is expelled from the urethra and secretions from the vagina. 

A strap-on is an artificial penis that is attached to a harness and worn like trousers or strapped around the thighs and back with straps/bands. Hence the term strap-on dildo. A strap-on is used for anal, vaginal or oral penetration.

T

Teabagging is a term for a sexual act in which the scrotum is placed in another person's mouth or on their face for sexual pleasure.

Technosexuality refers to sexual attraction to robots or machines.

Testicles refer to the male sex organ for the production of sperm and testosterone. 

Testosterone is a male sex hormone that plays a central role in the development and maintenance of male sexual characteristics. It is produced in the testicles, but also in small amounts in women's ovaries and adrenal glands. It is important for the development of male sexual characteristics, muscle and bone growth, and libido.

The pill is a hormonal contraceptive in tablet form for girls and women to prevent pregnancy.

TINAQ* stands for trans and intersex, non-binary, agender* and questioning individuals who are questioning or exploring their gender identity.

Top refers to the active part of a sexual contact or sexual relationship, i.e. usually the person who prefers to penetrate another person or is ‘on top’.

Transfeminism is a movement within feminism that advocates for the interests of transgender people. The aim of transfeminism is to improve the reality of life for and acceptance of trans* people, to reduce transphobia and to draw attention to social problems in this context.

Transgender people are individuals whose gender identity does not or does not fully correspond to the gender assigned to them before or immediately after birth.

Transition refers to measures taken to adapt to one's gender identity.

V

The vagina is the female sexual organ inside the body that connects the vulva (see below), the external sexual organ, to the uterus. 

Vers refers to a person who takes on both the ‘active’, penetrating role (top) and the ‘passive’, penetrated role (bottom) in sexual contacts or sexual relationships.

A vibrator is an electromechanical sex toy that comes in various shapes and materials. It is set into vibration by a small motor and is designed to stimulate erogenous zones on the body through movement.

External female sexual organ. It includes the outer and inner labia, the clitoris and the vestibule of the vagina, the opening to the vagina. 

Y

Yoni is Sanskrit, an ancient Indian language, and refers to the vagina, vulva and uterus together. Literally translated, yoni means source, origin or sacred place. In Hinduism, the yoni is a symbol of divine creative energy. In the Western world, ‘yoni’ is increasingly used in popular culture, although the meaning and context sometimes differ or expand. In feminist discourse, the term yoni is often used to liberate female sexuality from shame and taboo and to promote a positive, self-determined view. Here, the yoni becomes a symbol of female self-determination and emancipation.

Z

Circlusion means to enclose or cover and is the opposite of penetration (see above). Both words describe roughly the same physical process, but from opposite perspectives.

Partners

Stadtsparkasse Düsseldorf Otto Beisheim Stiftung Hoffmann Liebs